This week I'm going to post a few excerpts from Love-Shy. As I mentioned last week, the protagonist Penny discovers that there is a boy at her school who is suffering from love-shyness. But she doesn't know which boy! So she sets out to interview them all.
Eye contact: Sporadic.
Overt signs of shyness: Darting eyes, uncommunicativeness.
ME: Hey, I just wanted to ask you something about the meeting.
ME: Can you remember if Hugh said we had $1735 left in our budget? Or was it $1375?
NEDISLAV: Um. I don’t remember.
ME: You don’t remember? It was five minutes ago. I don’t think you really understand the responsibility you have, as a democratically elected representative of the student body.
NEDISLAV: D-don’t you remember?
ME: Not that I think the majority electoral system we have in this school is particularly democratic. I’ve been telling Mr Copeland that we need to move to an instant runoff preferential system to elect the form captains, and either the Sainte-Laguë method or Hare-Clark proportional system for the prefects and school captains. But as usual, everyone is resistant to electoral change. It’s probably because Mr Copeland is British.
(SUBJECT APPEARS AGITATED?.?.?.?AN EXCELLENT SIGN! TIME TO CHANGE TACTICS.)
ME: Are you planning on going to the social?
NEDISLAV: (DISTRACTED) What? No.
ME: Why not? It’ll be fun.
NEDISLAV: I don’t really go out very much.
ME: Why? Do you find it difficult to socialise?
NEDISLAV: (LOOKS BEYOND THE INTERVIEWER AND SHOWS SIGNS OF RELIEF)
KATE PITTMAN: Hey, baby.
(KATE PITTMAN, IGNORING INTERVIEWER, PROCEEDS TO WRAP HER LEGS AROUND SUBJECT’S WAIST, WHILE LICKING HIS EAR. SUBJECT SHOWS NO SIGN OF CONCERN)
ME: Right then.
KATE PITTMAN: (MOANS)
Verdict: Not love-shy.
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