We went to Toys R Us yesterday, and my entire world changed. When I was a kid, I was happy with a cardboard box and a piece of string*. But now look at what is on offer for the young folk!
First - CSI for Kids. This is wrong on about a million levels, the least of which is that most of the crime scenes these CSI-type shows investigate involve dead prostitutes**.
But that DNA one actually looks totally awesome and I kind of want it.
Then there's Barbie. Now, unlike many feminists, I have no problem with Barbie. I like her because she says that it's possible for women to be a doctor/astronaut/teacher and also wear a pretty hat***. Beauty doesn't equal stupidity in Barbie's world. So, I approve of Barbie, as long as she has a job. Fashionista Barbie and Pink Bubbles Barbie can stay on the shelves, but Pet Vet Barbie and Pediatrician Barbie are all good with me.
Creepy Surveillance Barbie - NOT SO MUCH.
Creepy Surveillance Barbie - who has a camera in her boobs now has an FBI cybercrime alert issued against her. Forreals. She's like Sydney Bristow in Alias, except evil, creepy and a possible tool for creating child pornography.
But I've saved the creepiest til last. CSI Kids is educational, if promoting a TV show that is highly inappropriate for kids. Creepy Surveillance Barbie is clearly evil, but at least there are other Barbies that have successful careers.
Then comes Press My Pants Bieber.
See the hole? Right over his pants? That says TRY ME! PRESS HERE?
Creepy. Creepy. Creepy.
*And a My Little Pony, two Care Bears, a Lotsa Lotsa Lotsa Legs and some stuff from the Lost Forests.
** Earning them the umbrella-term: Crimes Against Vaginas.
*** As I've said before, Barbie was the first woman to run for President in the US.