Real or Fake? The Christmas Tree Dilemma

I love Christmas. I love everything about it. I can even tolerate a tiny bit of Jesus-lovin' at Christmas time (as long as it's the Away in a Manger kind of Jesus-lovin', not the 'Jesus wants me to carry a gun' kind).

And one of my favourite things about Christmas (apart from the food) is a Christmas tree. But there is the dilemma: real or fake?
Real is nice because it's... well, it's real. It is a tree and it smells nice. But there are a couple of things that are problematic with real ones, namely:
1. They go brown very quickly, and don't last until twelfth night.
2. Things live in them. Like snails who eat wrapping paper.
3. I am violently allergic to them, and can't be in the same room as one without medication.
and
4. Monterey pines, which are the only kind of Christmas tree available in Australia.
These are Christmas trees:

This, however, is not a Christmas tree:

It just isn't.
So I've gone fake. If I could get a Douglas fir or a Fraser, then I might be prepared to deal with the snails and the vast amounts of Claratyne. But not for a Monterey Pine.