There is an organisation called the Happy Endings Foundation's East of England Cheering Committee.
What do they do? (I hear you ask.) Do they reunite orphans with their long lost parents? Do they find Handsome Princes for Lowly Peasant Girls? Do they provide support and counselling for failed Idol participants?
No. This lady and all her lovely, caring friends are out there to make sure that kids don't get too upset by books with sad endings.
Oh (you say), that's nice. They talk about why the Snowman melted, and why the puppy had to go to the Big Doghouse in the Sky.
No. They just burn all the books with sad endings.
They burn them. With fire. They call it a Bad Book Bonfire, and they have them quite often.
So the newspaper article says that Lemony Snicket is on the pyre. But I'm thinking you'd have to torch The House at Pooh Corner, Charlotte's Web and Bridge to Terabithia as well. And let's not even mention The Velveteen Rabbit.
Now seems like a REALLY good time to mention that it's Banned Books Week.